Fear Not: Helping Children Develop a Positive Relationship with Water

Are Children Born with a Fear of Water?

No, children are not born with a fear of water. Most fears, except the fear of falling and loud noises, are learned. Infants are generally not afraid of water, much like they are not inherently afraid of snakes, poisons, or electrical outlets. The "startle" response, which includes crying or a quick grasp of air, is related to sudden changes in body position or loud noises, not water itself. Infants have no inherent fear of water because they are unaware of any dangers associated with it.

Why Does My Baby Cry During Bath Time?

Several factors could cause an infant to cry during bath time:

Change of Temperature: Infants have underdeveloped thermoregulation, so sudden changes from warm to cold or vice versa can be upsetting. If a baby cries due to temperature discomfort, parents might mistakenly think the baby dislikes water, while the real issue is temperature.

Insecure Handling: The "startle" response can also occur if a baby is lowered into the bath too quickly or without secure support. Babies can sense if their handler is calm and confident or nervous and rough. Loving, attentive hands help a baby relax, while stiff, nervous hands can cause distress.

Uncomfortable Surface: Hard, flat surfaces can make infants feel insecure because they lack muscle control. Using a soft surface like a sponge pad or folded towels can help stabilize the baby's body movement and provide warmth.

Simple Disruption: Babies, like everyone, can have bad days. Sometimes, being undressed and getting wet might not be what they want at that moment. Often, it's not the water itself causing discomfort, especially since infants spent months in a warm, watery womb.

Parental Attitudes: Babies can pick up on their parents' attitudes towards water. If parents are nervous or dislike certain water-related experiences, their children might develop similar attitudes. It's crucial for parents to be conscious of the messages they are conveying about water.

Preventing Fear in Children

Parental education is key to preventing fear in children. Parents should be aware of how their attitudes and behaviors affect their children. Understanding the factors that can cause fear and creating positive water experiences are essential. Knowledge and planning can help parents avoid or decrease fear-inducing situations.

Causes of Water Fear

Children can develop fear from various sources, including witnessing a serious water accident or hearing a loud noise during their first water experience. Prohibiting water play or lacking opportunities for water activities can also lead to fear. Once fear sets in, it can be challenging to overcome without intervention, such as counseling or positive everyday experiences.

Handling a Frightful Water Experience

If a child has a frightening water experience, it's important to handle the situation with care:

Talk About the Experience: Encourage your child to express their feelings. Reassurance can help alleviate fears. Phrases like “I’ll bet that scared you” can be more supportive than denying the cause for fear.

Stay Calm: Children are less likely to be disturbed by an accident if parents remain calm. Treat the incident lightly, with humor or lightheartedness, to prevent the development of anxiety.

Should a Child Have a Little Fear of Water for Safety?

Instilling fear for the sake of safety suggests that water play and learning to swim are negative experiences. Instead, aim to develop a cautious attitude towards water, teaching children to respect its potential hazards and enjoy its pleasures. This includes remembering water safety rules and identifying safe swimming conditions.

Teaching Respect and Caution

Some children naturally develop a sense of caution, but most need guidance. Connecting behavior with potential results often requires maturity. Parents and caregivers should supervise water play, enforce safety rules, and provide opportunities for safe water experiences. Do not assume that children will inherently display caution around water, regardless of their swimming ability.

Conclusion

Introducing children to water early and properly can help them develop a positive relationship with it. Parents play a crucial role in shaping their children's attitudes towards water. By understanding and addressing potential causes of fear, providing secure and enjoyable water experiences, and modeling positive attitudes, parents can help their children become confident and safe swimmers.

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Carolyn Shank: A Child’s Way to Water Play.

Canada: Human Kinetics, Dec. 1991